I didn't choose the bullying. I chose what I would build beyond it.
Criticism. Bullying. Judgement. Being underestimated.
Words and actions can leave wounds that people cannot always see. They can make us question our abilities, doubt our dreams and wonder whether we will ever be accepted for who we truly are.
But what happens when we decide that other people's opinions will not determine our future?
What happens when we take the experiences that hurt us and use them as motivation to grow, create and make a difference?
For me, that journey is about **turning bullying into bold and brave**.
It is not about celebrating the people who hurt me. It is about reclaiming my story, finding purpose in my experiences and choosing to build something meaningful beyond them.
My journey: More than what others see
I am a woman living with hemiplegic cerebral palsy. My disability is part of my life, but it is not the whole story.
I am also a professional, an author, an advocate for inclusion and the founder of Abilities Without Limits.
Like many people who are different from what society considers the norm, I have experienced the reality of being judged, criticised or underestimated.
Living with a disability can sometimes mean navigating not only physical challenges but also other people's assumptions. People may focus on what they believe you cannot do before taking the time to discover what you can do.
When criticism or bullying is added to that experience, the emotional impact can be significant.
I have learnt that other people's perceptions do not determine my worth. I do not have to fit into someone else's expectations to be valuable, and I do not need everyone's approval to pursue my dreams.
My disability is part of my story, but it does not define the limits of my possibilities.
Turning bullying into boldness
What does it mean to be bold?
For me, boldness is not about being the loudest person in the room or pretending that nothing hurts.
It is about having the courage to be myself, even when others do not understand me.
It is about pursuing my dreams when someone else doubts my ability to achieve them.
It is about speaking up, sharing my experiences and standing for something that matters.
It is about refusing to make myself smaller simply to make other people more comfortable.
Through my writing, advocacy and work with Abilities Without Limits, I have chosen to use my voice to raise awareness about cerebral palsy, disability inclusion and the importance of recognising individual capabilities.
I want to help people understand that disability does not cancel out ability.
I want to encourage conversations that challenge assumptions and create opportunities for people to learn from one another.
Becoming bold means allowing yourself to be seen, heard and recognised for the person you are.
Finding bravery in difficult moments
Bravery is often misunderstood.
We sometimes imagine that brave people are fearless, that they never feel hurt or that they always know exactly what to do.
But bravery can look very different.
Sometimes, bravery is getting up and trying again after disappointment.
Sometimes, it is sharing your story when you feel vulnerable.
Sometimes, it is asking for help, establishing boundaries or walking away from an environment that is harming you.
And sometimes, bravery is simply continuing to believe in yourself when others do not.
Bullying is never acceptable, and nobody should have to prove their worth by overcoming it.
We all deserve dignity, kindness and respect.
We do not have to be grateful for bullying or pretend that painful experiences were necessary for our growth. But we can work towards reclaiming our stories and deciding what role those experiences will play in our future.
For me, bravery means continuing to build a life guided by purpose rather than allowing negativity to take centre stage.
Building my empire of possibilities
When I talk about building my empire, I am not referring only to money, status or recognition.
I am talking about building something meaningful.
An empire of possibilities is created through the ideas we share, the opportunities we pursue, the knowledge we pass on and the lives we touch along the way.
For me, this includes my work as an author, my professional journey and my commitment to disability awareness and inclusion through Abilities Without Limits.
Through my books, I want to encourage children to understand differences, recognise the value of every individual and appreciate the importance of kindness and inclusion.
Through my advocacy, I want to help families, educators, employers and communities develop a better understanding of cerebral palsy and other disabilities.
Through my platform, I want to encourage people to look beyond perceived limitations and focus on capabilities and possibilities.
Every book written, every conversation started and every assumption challenged can contribute to a more inclusive society.
That is the kind of empire I want to build.
Not one founded on bitterness or revenge, but one built on resilience, creativity, compassion and purpose.
My disability is part of my story, not my whole story
Disability awareness is deeply personal to me because I know how important it is for people to be seen as whole human beings.
A person with cerebral palsy is not simply a diagnosis.
A person who uses a wheelchair is not simply a wheelchair user.
A person who communicates differently is not without a voice.
And a person who does things differently is not necessarily less capable.
People with disabilities have ambitions, talents, qualifications, relationships, ideas and contributions that deserve recognition.
Yet barriers to accessibility, limited opportunities and negative assumptions can prevent those abilities from being seen.
We need to move beyond awareness as a once-off conversation. We need to make inclusion part of everyday life.
That means listening to people with disabilities, involving them in decisions that affect them, creating accessible environments and recognising their contributions in workplaces, schools and communities.
It means educating ourselves instead of making assumptions.
It means understanding that inclusion is not about treating everyone identically. It is about recognising individual needs and creating opportunities for people to participate meaningfully.
We must learn to see the person, recognise the abilities and make room for the possibilities.
This is at the heart of Abilities Without Limits.
My message is simple: different does not mean less.
From personal experience to a greater purpose
Our experiences can influence the work we choose to do.
An experience of exclusion can deepen our understanding of why belonging matters.
Being underestimated can strengthen our determination to create opportunities for others.
Learning about disability can inspire us to educate people who have never had the opportunity to understand it.
And sharing our stories can help someone else realise that they are not alone.
I cannot change every person's attitude, and I cannot control every opportunity that comes my way. But I can continue sharing knowledge, creating awareness and contributing to conversations that matter.
I choose to use my experiences as motivation to keep learning, writing, advocating and building.
I choose progress over perfection.
I choose to focus on what I can create rather than spend my life trying to change the opinions of those who underestimate me.
And I choose to use my voice in the hope that it will help create a more understanding and inclusive world.
A message to anyone who has been bullied or underestimated
Perhaps you have been told that you are not good enough.
Perhaps someone has laughed at your dreams, criticised your differences or made you feel that you do not belong.
Perhaps you are still trying to find the confidence to take your next step.
Please remember that your worth is not something you need to earn from other people.
You matter before you achieve anything.
You deserve respect before you prove anyone wrong.
You have the right to pursue your interests, develop your abilities and discover what is possible for you.
You do not have to turn your pain into a success story to justify your existence.
If you are experiencing bullying, reach out to someone you trust and seek the support you need. You do not have to face it alone.
When you are ready, you can decide what you want your next chapter to look like.
You can choose to grow in confidence, discover new opportunities and build relationships with people who value you.
You can also help create a culture where others are treated with the kindness and respect that every person deserves.
Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is refuse to pass the hurt on to someone else.
Bold. Brave. Boundless.
I am still learning. I am still growing. I am still building.
My journey is not about proving that bullying was good for me. It is about showing that bullying does not have to write the ending of my story.
I want my work to be remembered not for the people who doubted me, but for the conversations it started, the awareness it created and the possibilities it helped others see.
I want to continue writing books, advocating for inclusion and growing Abilities Without Limits into a platform that encourages understanding, acceptance and meaningful change.
I want to contribute to a world where children learn to celebrate differences, where adults challenge their assumptions and where people with disabilities are recognised for their abilities, ambitions and contributions.
I didn't choose the bullying. I chose what I would build beyond it.
I am turning bullying into boldness, criticism into courage and personal experience into purpose.
I am choosing to build rather than break, to educate rather than judge, and to encourage rather than exclude.
That is what being bold and brave means to me.
And my journey is far from over.
Let's build a more inclusive world together
We all have a role to play in creating communities where people feel safe, respected and valued.
We can challenge bullying. We can educate ourselves. We can listen to experiences different from our own. We can make accessibility and inclusion priorities rather than afterthoughts.
Most importantly, we can recognise that every person has value, regardless of their abilities or differences.
Let's turn bullying into boldness, criticism into courage, and awareness into action.
Because different does not mean less.
Because disability does not cancel out ability.
And because the possibilities of a more inclusive world begin with the choices we make today.
Abilities Without Limits — It's all about capabilities and possibilities.
© Marthe-Marie Kohne